How to Start a Relationship With God

Maybe you grew up around faith and drifted. Maybe you never had it, and something has started to tug at you. Maybe life has come apart, and you find yourself wanting to talk to God without being sure he is there, or sure he would want to hear from you.

Whatever brought you here, you do not need to have things figured out to begin. That is the first and most important thing to know. A relationship with God starts with him, not with you.

In short

You start a relationship with God by responding to what he has already done: God made you, loves you, and in Jesus Christ has come to you first. The response is simple and honest. Talk to him in plain words, admit where you are, and ask him to help you. Begin reading the Bible, starting with one of the Gospels. Find Christians who will walk with you. None of this requires you to be good enough first. It requires you to be honest.

Start where you are, not where you think you should be

Many people assume they need to clean up their life before they approach God, the way you would tidy a house before a guest arrives. The Bible says the opposite.

But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

— Romans 5:8 (BSB)

While we were still sinners. Not after we improved. God's love for you is not a response to your goodness. It is the starting point. You can come with your doubts, your history, your anger, your half-belief. He is not surprised by any of it.

If you have been waiting until you feel ready, you can stop waiting. You are ready now, in the only sense that matters: you are here, and you are honest.

What God has already done

Christianity is not mainly advice about how to reach God. It is news about how God has reached us.

The Bible tells one long story. God made the world good and made people to know him. We turned away, and that turning is the root of the wrongness we all feel in ourselves and in the world. But God did not leave us. He came himself, in Jesus, who lived the life we could not live, died for the sins we could not undo, and rose from the dead. Whoever trusts him is forgiven, brought into God's family, and given his Spirit to begin a new kind of life.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

— John 3:16 (BSB)

This is the center. Everything else in the Christian life, prayer, Bible reading, church, grows from this. You are not earning a relationship. You are receiving one.

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (BSB)

Talk to him: a first prayer

Prayer is just talking to God. You do not need special words, a special posture, or a special place. God hears a whisper in a parked car as clearly as a cathedral.

If you do not know what to say, you can start with something like this, in your own words:

God, I am not sure how to do this. I want to know you. I believe, or I want to believe, that Jesus died and rose for me. Forgive me for the ways I have turned from you. I am putting my trust in you. Please help me.

That is enough. Christians across every tradition would recognize that as a real beginning. Some traditions mark it with baptism soon after, some with a public confession, some with a longer season of instruction. Those differences are worth learning about later. What matters now is that you have spoken to God honestly, and he has heard you.

Then keep talking. Tell him what you are afraid of. Thank him for something small. Ask him for what you need. If words run out, How to Pray When You Don't Know What to Say can help.

Listen: open the Bible

A relationship goes two ways. God speaks primarily through the Bible, which Christians hold to be his Word.

You do not need to start at Genesis. Start with one of the four Gospels, the accounts of Jesus' life. Mark is short and moves quickly. John is slower and goes deep. Read a chapter a day, or half a chapter, and do not worry about what you do not understand. Notice what Jesus says and does. Notice how he treats people. Ask yourself: is this someone I can trust?

How to Start Reading the Bible as a Beginner has more on translations and where to go next.

If a daily nudge helps, Delighting's Daily Word gives you one passage each morning with a short reflection, and you can ask honest questions about what you read in chat, where answers are drawn from Scripture and the sources are shown beside them. It is a tool, not a teacher with authority. The Bible is the authority, and the people described below are your teachers.

Find people: you cannot do this alone

This is the step new believers most often skip, and the one that matters most over time.

Jesus did not leave behind a set of individuals. He left a church. From the beginning, following him has meant belonging to a community that worships, learns, eats, prays, and suffers together. You will learn more about God from one older Christian who knows your name than from a hundred hours of reading.

And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds. Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

— Hebrews 10:24-25 (BSB)

Practically: find a church near you that teaches the Bible and confesses the historic Christian faith. Go on Sunday. Stay afterward. Tell someone, "I am new to this and I want to learn." Most churches will be glad. If the first one is not a fit, try another. If you already have a Christian friend, ask them to bring you.

If you are choosing between traditions, do not let that stop you from walking in a door. Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant churches share the core: one God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Jesus crucified and risen; Scripture as God's Word. The differences are real, but they are a conversation for the road, not a gate at the start.

What about my doubts and my past?

Doubts do not disqualify you. The Bible is full of people who believed and doubted at the same time, and God met them anyway. A father once told Jesus that he believed and asked for help with his unbelief, in the same breath (Mark 9:24). That prayer was answered. Is It OK to Doubt God? goes further.

Your past does not disqualify you either. Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, had persecuted Christians. Peter, the leader of the apostles, had denied knowing Jesus three times. The church has always been made of forgiven people. Whatever you have done, the promise stands.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

— 1 John 1:9 (BSB)

If your past includes harm done to you, and it is heavy, please also talk to someone who can help carry it: a pastor, a counselor, a trusted friend. If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988 (US) or your local emergency number. Delighting also lists resources at /crisis-resources.

What to expect in the first weeks

Do not expect fireworks. Some people feel a great deal at the start. Many feel very little, and wonder whether anything happened. Feelings are not the measure. God has promised his presence and his forgiveness. He has not promised a particular emotion on a particular day.

Expect the Bible to be confusing in places. Expect prayer to feel awkward. Expect to miss days. Expect to sin again and to need to come back. All of this is normal. The relationship is not fragile. It rests on what Christ has done, not on your consistency.

And expect small things. A verse that stays with you. A moment of peace you did not manufacture. A person at church who remembers your name. This is how most of the life of faith is lived, quietly, over years.

Where to begin today

1. Pray the prayer above, or your own version, out loud if you can.
2. Read Mark chapter 1 tonight.
3. Look up one church near you and decide to go this Sunday.
4. Tell one person, a friend or a family member, that you have started.
5. If you would like a companion for the daily part, begin here. You will choose a time and, if you like, a tradition, and tomorrow there will be one passage waiting for you.